A 70-Year Milestone

By Sean Baltz

A friend of mine is getting ready to celebrate his 70th wedding anniversary.  Think about that – he and his wife have been married for 70 years.  In our age of "no-fault divorces," what Clifford and Ruth Richards have accomplished is amazing.  We see some 50 anniversaries, some 60, but 70 years?  Truly it is a rare gem. 

Recently I sat down with them to discuss the principles that make their marriage work. I told them I wanted to encapsulate the concepts that anyone can embrace them for their own marriage. 

Here they are:

Pray together. Couples who pray together stay together.  Studies have shown that couples who attend church services once a week, pray together, and have a concentricity in spiritual faith are happy and harmonious together.

Wait until marriage. You have the rest of your life to have sex. You can wait a year or two during the courting phase.  Waiting until marriage before you have sex will keep the mutual respect and self-respect in the marriage.  And then you will have the rest of your life to enjoy each other’s bodies till death do you part

Talk things out. Never go to bed angry. If you do, the fighting will fester and get worse.

Communicate not from the perspective of ‘your side versus my side’ this is where most couples go wrong—communicate from the perspective that both of you are on the same side wanting the same thing

Have a shared vision. Know what the other person wants – before you get married.

Love is not looking into each other’s eyes. Love is looking in the same direction together life values. If you are going out into the marketplace each day battling life, and then you come home to another battle, then the marriage will not last.  Home should be both a haven and a heaven – a haven from the rest of the world and a heaven on earth between each other.

Put each other first. When you have a life partner who puts you first and you put him or her first, then you always have each other’s best interest at heart.

Become best friends with each other. Instead of having a "best friend" with someone else, make your marriage partner your best friend, and all other friends come after that.

Create a commitment. Never even think of the ‘D’ word between you: divorce. Always believe that marriage is not a part-time proposition, but rather a life-long commitment.

The reality is that no one is really happy is a marriage that is not permanent. Some people see this is as a trap, yet the reality is that marriage is not confining—it is liberating when you have a partner who will never leave you, you can fully express yourself to that person without fear of ridicule and rejection