Adult
ADD:
Attention, Please!
When the door to Randy Dillinger’s office is closed, no one knocks unless the building is on fire. It is a signal to co-workers that he is in hyper-focus mode and any disruptions could ruin his concentration for the rest of the day. Anti-social? No, this just his coping mechanism to deal with Attention Deficit Disorder, known in the medical field as ADD. Dillinger, a writer and graphic artist, was diagnosed at age 12 and still takes medication to deal with it.
“The condition of my office is usually the reflection of the condition
of my mind,” Dillinger explains. “If I have a messy office, I’m not able
to focus or concentrate.” On his desk are file stands to keep his projects in
order and visible. Otherwise, when they’re out of sight, they’re out of
mind. His greatest challenge that has carried over since childhood is the
ability to focus on the task at hand while handling other tasks, known today as
multi-tasking. This is the reason he closes his door to distractions.
“My wife definitely knows if I miss my medication. I get grumpy and
real cranky and real antisocial…a real bear to be around,” Dillinger
explained.
He
can’t have sugar either, because it affects his mood also. “A little bit of
sugar really goes a long way,” he said. “The oddest things affect me,
including lack of sleep and repetitive noises such as silverware clanking or my
wife clicking her pin, or when my daughter clears her throat.”
Adults
diagnosed with ADD, a neuro-chemical imbalance in the brain, may suffer a stigma
from a society that assumes children with this disorder outgrow it. Symptoms of
adult ADD may disrupt work, family harmony and relationships. Doctors diagnose
the condition after coping mechanisms developed over the years – maybe since
childhood – are no longer successful.
Jan
Moorman, M.A., L.M.F.T., counselor for Anderson Psychiatric Clinic in
Hyperactive
is a lack of inhibition, the inability to hesitate, which is what is needed for
concentration, she explained. Inattention is frustration, not being able to find
things or to focus on the task at hand when something else pops into the brain,
which is why a lot of tasks are started, but never finished, said Moorman.
As much as three to five percent of the adult population have ADD, and 92 percent of those diagnosed after age 18 wished they had been diagnosed as children. Many of these adults discovered they had ADD after having a child that was diagnosed with the disorder, and 60 percent of those adults diagnosed in childhood never outgrew their symptoms.
Dillinger,
along with his father, brother and two sisters, all carry the diagnosis of ADD
to one degree or another. Only his mother was lucky enough to escape this
diagnosis.
“My
dad had what is called nocturnal seizure disorder, and as a child I had night
terrors from about the age of four weeks to age 5 or 6,” Dillinger said.
“They knew it was night terrors because they could not wake me out of it.”
He jokes as he says his family is a good case for the genetic link many doctors
are now claiming about the disorder, pointing out that each family member has
his or her own unique quirks.
Although
testing proved he was smart, he had trouble staying focused or concentrating on
his schoolwork. He would put off projects and forget about them.
“I
was a day dreamer,” he said. “I got mostly Cs and Ds ‘til I was diagnosed
and put on medication, then my grades improved to As and Bs.” He claims it
wasn’t laziness but inability to stay on task and stay focused.
Ronn
Johnstone, drama teacher and director of theater studies at
“I
was told by my parents that I could never sit still in class, and was very
energetic and couldn’t keep my attention, constantly getting into things,”
said Johnstone.
He
spent a lot of time in the corner for impulsive, disruptive behavior, and even
learned how to get around most of his teachers by dazzling them with what he
could do.
“I would ask them to let me read my reports out loud to the class because I could explain it better verbally,” Johnstone explained. One teacher said his writing was like looking at scenery through a dirty window.
It wasn’t until his senior year in college that a professor noticed his ADD and brought it to his attention. Johnstone usually found a girlfriend that could proof his papers, but had just broken up with his girlfriend right before an important paper was do. Johnstone said that this teacher asked him if someone had been proofing his papers. He admitted to this, but was perplexed by the mention of having been tested for ADD.
He
asked his mom about it, and after much evasiveness, she finally admitted he had
ADD. “She didn’t want me to feel any different than the rest of the kids
while I was growing up,” he said. Whether this helped or hindered him,
Johnstone seemed to develop coping skills along the way.
Many adults do not find out until one of their children, and in some rare cases, grandchildren, are diagnosed with the disorder. Such was the case with husband and wife, George and Pam Nalywaiko, after their middle child, Joy was diagnosed her senior year in high school. George and two of his three daughters, Joy, and Heather, have the hyperactive type, while Pam and her oldest daughter, Jill, have the inattentive type of ADD.
Referring
to his daughter Joy’s childhood, George readily volunteers what it was like
raising a hyperactive child. “She was extremely active…social
butterfly…couldn’t concentrate on any one thing for any length of time. For
example, I was videotaping her kindergarten class and Joy started introducing me
to all her friends. After the twentieth child, I heard her teacher say ‘I
think that’s just about everybody’ and I realized she knows everybody in
this class, their characteristics, traits and what they like. She was very
extroverted.”
Joy
smiles and nods in agreement with her dad. “I always got good grades, but I
never paid attention in class. I didn’t realize this till I came to college
and it was all class.” She points out her inability to pay attention and the
fact that she gets bored quickly has hurt her relationships, as well as affected
her inability to choose a career. She juggles three to four different jobs in
between classes just so she won’t get bored. And her relationships with family
and friends have been tested by both her attention span and her quick temper.
“I
would pick fights with my sister,” says Joy. Her dad says he didn’t
understand this till years later. “It was a self-coping mechanism, giving her
the adrenaline rush she needed to deal with her ADD.”
George
admits he sees himself in his daughter. As a child he says it is reported he was
extremely disruptive in class and spent most of first and second grade in the
coat closet or locked up in the closet because he was literally out of control.
“You read and hear about ADD people that some of them suffered abuse…well, I
was one of them. My parents sent me away to this lady’s house out in the
country one summer, and she beat me daily. I came back a very compliant child.
My dad even sent me to a faith healer, and my mother sent me to a
psychiatrist.”
He
also talks of another symptom many ADD adults had as children…night terrors.
“I would rock in my bed, and I developed curvature of the spine because I was
doing it too much.”
Moorman
clarifies that many adults diagnosed with ADD also suffered abuse and grew up in
dysfunctional home situations. Co-morbidity of another illness such as
depression, anxiety, bi-polar disorder and personality disorders can and
sometimes do exist along with ADD and can also affect attention span and
concentration.
Through
counseling for depression, Pam complained of inability to concentrate and focus
to her doctor. After testing, and sampling her daughter Joy’s medication at
the suggestion of her doctor, she found out she had it too. A daydreamer in
school, Pam noticed through the years it got harder and harder to stay on task,
focused and alert. By college she couldn’t take it all in and keep up her
grades, which led to some of her depression.
Her
long marriage to George has been a test of both faith and struggling until the
diagnosis. And, many women find, in their multi-tasked roles as mother, worker,
wife and taxi for their children, just cleaning house can be an insurmountable
task.
“Most
of the time I have to learn how to cope with my wife’s ADD because the house
has piles everywhere,” laughs George. “If you came to our home you
wouldn’t know that we lived there for 25 years. You would say ‘Oh, did you
guys just move in?’” No pictures on the wall because she can’t decide what
she wants, and even deciding what goes on the Christmas tree can be daunting for
her. “I’ve learned to make a decision and go with it,” says George. He
admits their marriage vows and religious background is what has kept them
together all these years.
According
to Moorman, the key to help both partners understand how ADD manifests in their
relationships and how the affected partner can take responsibility while the
other partner can learn not to take it personally. “I help them see it’s a
good problem, that their partner can be creative, fun and spontaneous.”
Challenging that person with ADD to work at areas that interfere in
relationships, whether it is interrupting or talking only of themselves and not
asking their partner enough questions, is a challenge that many couples have to
work out with patience.
Gender
differences have also affected whether someone gets a proper diagnosis either in
childhood or as an adult. Boys have generally been classified as hyperactive
while girls may be inattentive, or daydreamers. Many women are not diagnosed
until adulthood because of their compliant personalities, possibly instilled in
them as children.
Lisa
Jackson, an adult education student majoring in social work at her local
university, is one such case. Sitting in the doctor’s office waiting to be
called, she noticed a pamphlet on ADD. Having a nephew that had been recently
diagnosed, she picked it up and read it all the way through, crying by the time
she finished.
“All
the symptoms, impulsivity, lack of focus, loss of words, flared temper,
disorganization, I seemed to relate to,” says
Relating
a situation from her grade school days,
Entering
college was also a new struggle, but luckily she has been able to utilize the
learning center on campus for students who have learning disabilities or ADD and
need the special attention, quiet atmosphere and longer time periods to
adequately take tests or write research papers.
Teresa
Coplin, assistant to the director of disabled student services at
“I
encouraged students to start working ahead of time on big papers and break it
down into little steps,” says Coplin. “An awareness of your own strengths
and weaknesses will help you to learn how to cope. Part of acceptance of your
situation is working on it and taking control and doing what is necessary.”
Career
choices for the ADD adult may vary based on what each person considers being
their strengths. For Dillinger, writer and graphic artist, he has plenty of
varied projects that he can switch back and forth between when he gets stuck,
bored or loses focus on a particular job he is working on. Pam gets excitement
from both the variety and constant moving around the hospital involved in her
job. She does admit paperwork and detailed work tend to get overwhelming. Her
daughter, Joy, changes jobs a lot, mainly because she gets bored and the
excitement wears off, leading her to look for something to challenge and
stimulate her. And, for
“What’s
important for adults diagnosed with ADD is that they do not see themselves as
victims of a disability but to identify their strengths and focus on cultivating
them,” says Jackson. “Don’t allow it (ADD) to disable us and see it as a
different way to go about things, otherwise we only defeat ourselves.”