Adults diagnosed with ADD, a neuro-chemical imbalance in the brain, may suffer a stigma from a society that assumes children with this disorder outgrow it. Symptoms of adult ADD may disrupt work, family harmony and relationships. Doctors diagnose the condition after coping mechanisms developed over the years – maybe since childhood – are no longer successful.

Many adults do not find out until one of their children, and in some rare cases a grandchild, is diagnosed with the disorder. Such was the case with husband and wife, George and Pam Nalywaiko, after their middle child, Joy, was diagnosed her senior year in high school. George and two of his three daughters, Joy, and Heather, have the hyperactive type, while Pam and her oldest daughter, Jill, have the inattentive type of ADD.

Referring to his daughter Joy’s childhood, George readily volunteers what it was like raising a hyperactive child. "She was extremely active…a social butterfly…couldn’t concentrate on any one thing for any length of time. For example, I was videotaping her kindergarten class and Joy started introducing me to all her friends. After the twentieth child, I heard her teacher say ‘I think that’s just about everybody’ and I realized she knows everybody in this class, their characteristics, traits and what they like. She was very extraverted."

Joy smiles and nods in agreement with her dad. "I always got good grades, but I never paid attention in class," she said. "I didn’t realize this ‘til I came to college and it was all class." She points out her inability to pay attention and the fact that she gets bored quickly has hurt her relationships, as well as affected her inability to choose a career. She juggles three to four different jobs in between classes just so she won’t get bored. And her relationships with family and friends have been tested by both her attention span and her quick temper.

"I would pick fights with my sister," says Joy. Her dad says he didn’t understand this until years later. "It was a self-coping mechanism, giving her the adrenaline rush she needed to deal with her ADD," he explained.

George admits he sees himself in his daughter. As a child he was reported as being extremely disruptive in class and spent most of first and second grade in the coat closet or locked up in the closet because he was out of control.

"You read and hear about ADD people that some of them suffered abuse. Well, I was one of them," he said. "My parents sent me away to this lady’s house out in the country one summer, and she beat me daily. I came back a very compliant child. My dad even sent me to a faith healer, and my mother sent me to a psychiatrist."

He also talks of another symptom many ADD adults had as children: night terrors. "I would rock in my bed, and I developed curvature of the spine because I was doing it too much," he explained.

Many adults diagnosed with ADD also suffered abuse and grew up in dysfunctional home situations. Another illness such as depression, anxiety, bi-polar disorder and personality disorders, can exist along with ADD and can also affect attention span and concentration.

How has Pam and George’s marriage been affected by Pam’s ADD? How do they cope? See the next issue for the final part of this series.