From Two to Four: Becoming Family

BY SABRINA GLIDDEN

Our journey began with the decision to adopt internationally. It wasn’t easy, but after researching the domestic adoption landscape, we felt the options on homelands were not helpful. Due to a medical procedure my husband Tom had received several years ago, we had long awaited conception with no success. As the years passed, our impatience to become parents increased.

We had heard that Ukraine had thousands of orphans, many toddler-aged, who were waiting for homes. We rushed to the paperwork and international approvals. We leaped through flaming hoops and booked flights eight months after we had made our decision. On February 15, 2002, we set out on a search for our babies.

We arrived at the orphanage two days after entering the country. Rancid odors permeated the buildings we walked through. Children were sneaking peeks at us from behind doorways, hoping to be noticed. Their hair was about two inches long all over because the workers there shaved their heads for easier care. In spite of the sadness in the place, our hopes were high. And then we met them.

Two skinny-legged 7-year old boys in shorts recited their Russian poems. They displayed their tallest stances and eager smiles and we were touched, not by their talents or charms, but by their utter vulnerability.

"They have each watched their friends leave," our interpreter Oksana said. "The workers lied on each of their records, saying they were mentally handicapped, so they wouldn’t be required to go to the older orphanage. That’s where the crime begins."

It did not matter that we had come for toddlers. What had called to us from across the sea was the need of these two little boys. We began the paperwork that would allow us to make the boys our own and discussed their American names with them. We would name them Thomas and James. They were excited to have parents, although they were not sure just what that meant.

"We are ready to work," James said to my husband. "We will work very hard for you."

"Your job is to play," Tom said. He turned to me with glossy eyes. We both knew that the job on our hands was significant. Not only would we become parents, but also we would model what parents are.